Waiting

Whenever I wait for something my mind does all kinds of weird things.

It thinks of reasons why something won't happen. It thinks of reasons why it will happen. It smacks me upside the head for thinking too much.

In the meantime, I wait. I know there is an answer. I know that God will tell me what it is. I know it will be the right one.

So maybe I should put my hands over my ears and sing,  "LALALALALALALALALAAAAAA" so that I don't hear all the thoughts bouncing around in my head.

Thy will be done.

Changes ... Decisions

When I look at how long ago my last post was, specifically the date, I'm not surprised. Less than a week after that, I started taking classes to earn the credits necessary to keep my certification active. I was able to complete what most people have 5 years to do in 13 weeks. I am very thankful that God enabled me to do this.

It was hard, but I'm in a position now where I can apply for full-time jobs or long-term sub jobs (both of which I have done), or, at the very least, sub more than 90 days per school year.

One of the things that God showed me during the craziness of January-May was the fact that the past two years were a bit of a struggle. Not so much with what I was doing, but with what I wasn't doing because I either didn't have time or I was exhausted. There was also a lot of frustration in me because of what I wasn't doing. Nothing earth-shattering, mind you .... just simple things - like taking care of my home, cooking, doing crafts. But these are the things that I love to do.

I just figured that this was the way it was going to be - I had my season as a homemaker, and now I was in a different season of life.

But a funny thing happened on the way to Lancaster a few weeks ago. You see, I had always said that if I got a full-time teaching job I would quit teaching piano because I wouldn't have time, etc. But very soon into that drive I said to Don, "What if I quit anyway?" The more we talked, the more it seemed like the right thing to do. But then we got back from the trip and I was back into it. Don't get me wrong - I was still resolved to do it, but I hadn't done it yet, so it wasn't real. I was still teaching lessons every week and preparing my students for the recital.

Well, the recital was last Friday (6/1).  And I'm done. And it's wonderful. I haven't told the students and their parents yet - I didn't want it to affect the recital, which, by the way, was very good and very satisfying. I have told the few that have asked that I'm not doing summer lessons this year. I will be contacting everyone in a week or so to let them know, so please don't mention anything on Facebook.  I know that most of them will be disappointed - I was down to five students, but I've had those five girls for anywhere from 3-8 years.

But God wasn't finished yet ....!

I'd been toying with the idea of maybe not singing with the Washington County Arts Choir anymore, but had been undecided. I even thought maybe I'd go through the Christmas concert, since I love Christmas music.

Last night we had our annual meeting. I went into it with an attitude of having the meeting/discussion (there were some difficulties, etc that needed to be addressed) be something that would help me evaluate how I really feel about it. It was VERY clear to me before that meeting was over (thank you, Lord!) that I was done. In fact, when we got into the car, the first thing I said to Don was "Elvis has left the building" (me, of course, being Elvis ..)

Wow ... another "extra" thing - done.

And would you believe there's one more? For the past three years, I've been a homeschool evaluator. I thought that it would be a lucrative side job - my evaluator that I used had LOTS of students to evaluate. Well, I've only had one or two per year - it was always more of a nuisance than anything else. So on the way home last night from the choir meeting, I decided that I'm going to do the two evaluations I have scheduled for next week, and then I will take my name off the websites I've used, and I will be finished with that.


I was downright giddy last night.

So .... as of June 14, I will be a sub (unless I'm a full-time music teacher) and that is it. I will take care of my home, cook, do crafts .... all the things I love.

old school.

When you think about it, my life has pretty much revolved around school of some sort. Of course, there's the first through twelfth grade that most everyone does (I never went to kindergarten.) As a child, when I wasn't in school, I played school.

Most of my summer jobs were working for my school district in one form or another.

Then there was college.

Even when I was working at other jobs when Don and I first got married, I was usually teaching something: piano, VBS, Sunday school.

Then we had kids, and, of course, you're always teaching your kids something.

When my kids were in school, I was very involved with the school - reading to a class at lunchtime so a teacher could have a break, volunteering in some form or another, grading papers, helping with craft fairs, whatever.

Then there was the 11 years of homeschooling.

And now, as you know, I'm a substitute teacher.

So when I say "I'm going back to school to take some classes", that isn't entirely true. Because when you think about it, I never really left.

Wait, what?

It could be funny, but it isn't, really.

All those plans I had in my last post on how I was going to find more time by accepting less subbing jobs. GREAT plan.

Until I got sick.

So, yeah ... I'm not subbing, but I'm not doing much of anything else, either. Maybe a little "putzing" around, doing a few things on a little bit of energy. Feeling like I'm losing time. Feeling like I've lost out on LOTS of subbing opportunities - there were at least 8 today, and about 5 for tomorrow that I couldn't accept. (Well, okay, I can't accept ALL of them anyway, but you know what I mean.)

It's funny how I always think I've got these great ideas, great plans. But then God tells me to look at Him. And I realize that it's all going to be fine - He's got it under control. And aren't we all glad that it's Him and not me ...

Let's see if THIS works.

So, it's almost December. And I really could use some extra time.

This is my plan: I'm only going to accept subbing jobs for things I really love, use the extra time to get ready for Christmas without going into a frenzy, and try not to feel guilty about the work I could have had but chose not to.

I could also use the extra time to catch up on my course work for my necessary credits to make my certification active.

After subbing for over a year, I've figured out what I'd like to do. If I had my way, I would have a job teaching music full-time at either the elementary or intermediate level, or only take subbing jobs that I really want to do. Because there are definitely some that I don't want.

But, I'm getting off-topic here. The main thing is that I want to have time to focus on the things I love about the Christmas season, and the things that actually need to be done.

God sent His Son into this world as a baby. He did this because I have a sin problem and I need a Savior. I want to focus on this, on the words to songs that tell His story, and on my family. I want to bake cookies. I want to buy/make presents. I want to stay calm.

So, here we go. I'll let you know what happens.

Wait. It's October?

But it was just summer.

I did manage to take it somewhat easy this past summer.

God was definitely leading, and I turned down one teaching job, and was not offered the other. But that's okay - subbing will give me the time to get the credits I need without making myself crazy.

But anyway, I came on here to write about our vacation. It was wonderful. It was what we really, REALLY needed. Even though I went into it with a cold. Even though I injured myself. Even though the weather was cloudy and sometimes rainy. Even though I only had one day where I sort of went in the water.

We REALLY relaxed. We talked, read, took walks on the beach and the boardwalk, watched the Phillies on tv, ate 3 brothers pizza. We sat on the beach and the boardwalk and stared at the ocean. There was a lot of time to think. God really taught me some things and pointed me in a direction I needed to go in.

Two weeks off the Internet (except for 3 times when we had to quick do some banking, etc.) was amazing. I didn't miss it. And it helped me to use it much more sparingly when I got back.

I brought some of the calm back with me, and I love it.

A new direction

Something I've been thinking about for some time now is the fact that there are so many things that I love to do, and I never get to any of them. So many ideas in my head, but never following through. No money + no time + other things that seem more important = none of these things get done.

Well, I've decided that as my summer ends, I want to use part of the remaining days of it for productive fun! This mostly means crafts, but some of it means re-doing some areas in the house that have needed attention. I also plan to spend more time on my Act 48 courses. As subbing starts, I'll use my days off.

For me, getting started is a big part of everything. So right now, I am between coats of spray paint on our ugly gold-ish mailbox. I also started another project which I've had in my head for 6 years - ever since we moved into this house and I discovered some unused/unpainted shutters in the basement. I'm not telling what I'm doing with them - you'll have to wait and see!

Which brings me to two more things: one, I'm really glad that Sara invited me to Pinterest, which is a website to gather, sort, and store ideas. This has been instrumental in re-starting the flow of my creative juices. The other is this: I'm thinking about starting a blog in addition to this one just for things that I have completed. I think it would be fun, and would further spur me on. I'll let you know when that one is up and running.

But for now ... one last coat on the mailbox, and off to Home Depot & Michaels for ...oh .. you'll see! :o)